1. Admit there is a problem.

“I can’t do it anymore!  It’s just too much!”  Have you ever had thoughts like this?  I have many times—when I’m behind on laundry and my husband doesn’t have clean socks for work, when the dishes are piled high in the sink, when the baby is demanding to be held again, when my older kids are fighting again, when it’s lunchtime and we still haven’t done school for the day.  Sometimes, when I look at the chaos that is my life, I just want to hide from it all.

If I’m honest with myself, though, I have to admit that much of the chaos is my own fault.  The problem is not the housework, school, or the kids.  It’s not even too much to do with too little time.  The problem is how I manage my time. 

2. Call it what it is.

Some people might say it’s just my personality, that I’m just unorganized, or that housekeeping just isn’t my thing.  The truth is, however, that the root of my problem is actually sin.  I’ve developed bad habits, making poor choices, choosing to do things that are not as important, so the really important things don’t get done.  I’m choosing laziness instead of hard work (Colossians 3:23), and I’m not exercising self-control (Titus 2:4-5).

Self-control is not something we hear a lot about.  Rather than promoting self-control, our society encourages self-indulgence.  You should do what you want and have what you want when you want it.  However, that’s the opposite of what Scripture teaches.

3. Replace sinful habits.

In Hebrews we read that we are to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (12:1, NIV).  My lack of self-control definitely hinders me from doing what needs to be done and from having a calm, organized life.  I need to recognize it for the sin that it is and get rid of it.   

According to Paul, we are to train ourselves for godliness (1 Timothy 4:7b), disciplining our bodies and keeping them under control (1 Corinthians 9:27).  Doing the right thing is not always easy.  We must fight against our natural desires and train ourselves to make the right choices.  Self-control requires work on our part, a deliberate effort to do what is right.  It means replacing our old sinful habits with new godly ones, putting off the old and putting on the new (Ephesians 4:22-24; Colossians 3:9-10).  Breaking bad habits can be hard, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, it can be done.

4. Choose the right thing.

Sometimes the right thing is obvious, such as choosing to wash dishes instead of surfing Facebook.  However, sometimes our choice may be between two good things, like doing laundry or spending time with my kids.  Both are important.  Sometimes, I need to choose my kids so that they will know I enjoy being with them.  Other times, I need to choose laundry so my husband will have clean socks.  If I play with my kids, however, to avoid the mountains of laundry around the house, then it becomes wrong.

Time management is my issue.  Yours may be something else.  We must practice self-control in all areas of our lives, from how much we eat to what shows we watch to how much money we spend.  We all struggle in different areas, but we must all strive to put off our sinful habits and replace them with godly ones. 

5. Make a plan.

To do that, we need a plan.  First, we should identify a habit we need to put off.  Then we need to choose a habit to take its place.  Finally, we should come up with practical steps we can take to change the way we act in that situation. 

I’ve chosen two areas of my life (although there are many more) where I need to practice more self-control:  my relationship with God and my housework.  I’ve identified which habits are hindering me in these areas, and I’ve made a plan to replace them with better habits.

My relationship with God:

Bad habit:  spending too much time on worldly pursuits

New habits:  spend at least 15 minutes a day reading the Bible; spend at least 15 minutes a day reading some other Christian literature

My housework:

Bad habit:  procrastinating when I should be doing chores

New habits:  complete one load of laundry each day (wash, dry, fold, and put away); do the dishes as soon as I can after each meal, finishing what dishes are left before going to bed

6. Ask for help.

On my own, I’m not sure I can stick with this, but I have the Spirit helping me.  With lots of prayer, and some accountability from a friend or my husband, I know I can break my bad habits and learn to be more self-controlled.

You can use these steps to break the sinful habits in your life.  I’ve created a worksheet to help you walk through the process. You can get that here: Six Steps for Developing Self-Control. If you have questions or need help with the worksheet, please message me!  I’d love to help!

Additional Resources:

*You might like to read these related posts:

Back on the Path

Fill Your Mind

Weeds of Sin

Sculpted by the Spirit

*If you need more discipline or self-control in your life, you might find these books helpful:

Disciplines of a Godly Woman By Barbara Hughes   Let’s face it – life isn’t easy for women today! While juggling a myriad of responsibilities, we sometimes lose our focus on pursuing godliness. Through poignant stories and faithful reminders, Barbara Hughes helps you scrutinize every area of your life, surrender it all to God, and rediscover the disciplines that build godly character.

Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life Study Guide, Updated 20th Anniversary Edition By Donald S. Whitney   Donald Whitney’s book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life changed how Christians view the spiritual disciplines inherent in the Christian faith. This new, anniversary edition of the companion study guide explores an array of disciplines including prayer, worship, fasting, meditation, stewardship, evangelism, silence, and journaling. With new material on Bible study and updates throughout, this guide will show you how the practice of spiritual disciplines lead to freedom in Christ.